Live in the Moment!
Someone once told me to think this way:
The Past is History,
The Future's a Mystery,
This moment is a Gift,
We call it The Present!
And the whole idea was
1) not to waste time filled with regret or remorse about the past, because as soon as you do something it can't be undone, so there's no point beating yourself up over it.
2) not to lose sleep over what is coming up, tomorrow or next week or whenever; just make a few decisions about that part of what you are expecting, in so far as you will have any control, then switch off. Because there is only so much that we have control over, and the rest is in the lap of the Gods.
It sounds so simple and perfect and if we all lived our lives like this the promise is that we will have no angst, no neurosis, no weights to carry around, because our minds will be liberated and our hearts free to enjoy the world we live in.


CRAP

I have regrets – new ones every day. Some of them I own up to, others I have no intention of anyone ever finding out about. I'm not talking big here – no murders or hit-and-runs, Hatton Garden bank heists. Just ordinary run-of-the-mill stuff like everybody else.
Catholics go to Confession, the rest of us file it away in a little drawer in the filing cabinet that occupies space in our brains. And there it gets added to and gets bigger and eventually takes over a whole cabinet and then another and then a whole room and then two rooms and then it has a whole corridor or a floor in the office block then the whole block and it spreads out over a whole neighbourhood or district and the longer we live the more it takes over until we die.
I can't hack that. I have to do something with it. So this is my confessional. And anyone who bothers to read it can be my Father Confessor and either grant me absolution or a few penances.
That's okay with me,

Today, Friday Night:
I've been smoking too much. More than I admit to. I have a couple of e-cigarettes, which taste ok but are heavier than the real things and I can't et used to them. So I light up. I know that a lot of it is because I'm waiting to start treatment, but first I have to see a Consultant, and so far I've waited 20 weeks, and now I have an appointment for the second week in January, and then I'll have to wait to start a course of treatment, which I hope will be successful, but until then I really can't quit. It's pathetic, but there it is, Father.
 
Miss Teri Regrets She Is Unable To Quit Today!